Apply now for Reload's Theocracy Mentorship Program

Reload is happy to announce that it will be kicking off a program over the next few months to pair off Blue State residents with Iranian citizens to assist them with easing into life in a theocratic state.

"The most important thing to know is that there is still free speech," says Iranian student and program coordinator Reza Jahiri, "but that the government also has its own freedom in how it deals with what you say."

The mentors will help in a variety of different subjects, from knowing how to figure out what books and movies are ok, to the best techniques in faking a devout belief in Allah (or in our case, his militant crusading son Jesus).

It's hard to wrap your head around it, but we here at Reload, after carefully reading the 'Bush Pledge', now understand that in order for our government to bring freedom to people that don't already have it, we have to make sure that the government has even 'more' freedom than us because it would be foolish to waste all that freedom on people who don't have the armies to spread it with. But we're still not sure who 'Herby' is.

For those that feel that living in a theocracy is not worth the trouble, Jahiri has some advice.

"The key to self-immolation is location, location, location. I recommend shopping centers or busy open parks. If you intend to go out in flames, make sure people see it."


John Edwards, there are two Americas. Unfortunately, ours is smaller.