DNA Test to Solve Decades-Old Mystery
What has been a life-long mystery may come to light soon, as celebrity buffoon Jeff Gannon agreed, on a really bad MSNBC show that I'd never heard of, to give a DNA sample to a creepy New Yorker named Bo Dietl.
Despite Dietl's honorable attempt to clear Jeff Gannon from vicious, slanderous, and totally imaginary accusations, he may have inadvertantly opened a Pandora's Box of long-forgotten issues. It has been long rumored that Gannon's inability to give full details of his past are a result of the fact that he was really the first test tube baby.
Long before the Muppets had their breakthrough in entertainment, they mainly relied on carrying out experiments in their lab as a source of income. One experiment involved early attempts at embryo development, and Muppet scientists were rumored to have been advanced enough to have produced an offspring from the DNA of Miss Piggy and Beaker.
For years, due to the controversial nature of raising test tube babies, and the Muppets exploding popularity in the early 70s, the young man they allegedly produced in the lab was sent to live in a foster home. Beaker, now retired, claims to know nothing about the experiment, only responding to my questions with, "Meep."
The resemblance, however, is uncanny. And Gannon's attempts at garnering attention for himself evoke a young Miss Piggy, a lady never shy around the cameras, and willing to go so far as to sleep with frogs to further her career. Hopefully soon, this mystery will be put to rest...
Despite Dietl's honorable attempt to clear Jeff Gannon from vicious, slanderous, and totally imaginary accusations, he may have inadvertantly opened a Pandora's Box of long-forgotten issues. It has been long rumored that Gannon's inability to give full details of his past are a result of the fact that he was really the first test tube baby.
Long before the Muppets had their breakthrough in entertainment, they mainly relied on carrying out experiments in their lab as a source of income. One experiment involved early attempts at embryo development, and Muppet scientists were rumored to have been advanced enough to have produced an offspring from the DNA of Miss Piggy and Beaker.
For years, due to the controversial nature of raising test tube babies, and the Muppets exploding popularity in the early 70s, the young man they allegedly produced in the lab was sent to live in a foster home. Beaker, now retired, claims to know nothing about the experiment, only responding to my questions with, "Meep."
The resemblance, however, is uncanny. And Gannon's attempts at garnering attention for himself evoke a young Miss Piggy, a lady never shy around the cameras, and willing to go so far as to sleep with frogs to further her career. Hopefully soon, this mystery will be put to rest...
posted by thehim at 10:02 AM
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