Anywhere But the Anus

"Here are the rules of campaign trail kissing for a male politician: If you're campaigning to a group of men, no kissing. Firm handshakes only. Middle-aged women you could go for a hand or cheek kiss. Toddlers...anything not covered by clothes, you can kiss. If you lift something up, you're asking for trouble. Now the good news, babies -- pretty much open season -- anywhere but the anus."
- Jon Stewart